“I Don’t Want To” His power is Perfected in My Weakness

God Speaks First

Hearing God’s voice may sound strange to some people, yet I believe most people hear Him far more often than they realize. The problem isn’t that God is silent God has a word for you — it’s that His voice is subtle. In 1 Kings 19:11–12, God spoke to Elijah not through wind, earthquake, or fire, but through a still, small voice. That whisper is easy to miss. And yet there are also moments when God intervenes loudly and unmistakably to protect us from disaster. Both are expressions of His grace. As Paul wrote, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Two years ago, in January our church began a yearly 21‑day fast. After fifty years of following Jesus, fasting wasn’t new to me. I’ve had many seasons where I fasted to seek direction from God. But that particular year, Pastor David introduced a book for us to follow: “Starving” by Jeff Strickland.

The beginning of the book drew me in immediately — the testimonies, the foreword, the emphasis on daily commitments. Day One focused on journaling, something I’m very familiar with and often encourage others to do as a counselor. I felt like I was off to a strong start.

Then came Day Two and I was caught off guard from my years of fasting experience.

The title for Day Two was simple: Drink Water.

To understand why this became a problem, you must know my background. As a kid, I drank all the pop I wanted.  Water was something I used only to swallow a pill or gulp during sports. Occasionally I’d drink milk or tea with a meal, but pop was my constant companion. And I knew the “rules” of fasting — you can drink juice, soup, coffee, tea… basically anything including pop. So, for fifty years as a Christian, I fasted with every beverage except water.

But on Day Two of this fast, something happened that had nothing to do with Jeff Stricklands book or, Pastor David, calling for a church fast or any human voice.

I sensed God speaking to me.

Not loudly. Not dramatically. Just that same still, small voice Elijah heard.

“Drink water.”

And my immediate, honest response was:

“I don’t want to.”

I still remember the moment. I was praying. I was worshiping. My heart was open. I was seeking God. Everything felt right — until He said something I didn’t like.

“Drink water.”

And suddenly I was irritated, befuddled and upset.  After fifty years of walking with God, after countless fasts, after all my spiritual experience, this simple instruction exposed something in me I didn’t expect.

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My flesh pushed back. My will resisted. My preferences rose up.  All over something as small as “drink water”.  Suddenly God was asking me to do it His way.   In my angst and to make matter worse the words of Isa 58:6-7 came forth:

 IS THIS NOT THE FAST THAT I HAVE CHOSEN:To release the bonds of wickedness,To undo the ropes of the yoke,And to let the oppressed go free,And break every yoke?⁷ Is it not to break your bread ^[a]with the hungryAnd bring the homeless poor into the house;When you see the naked, to cover him;And not to hide yourself from your own flesh? 

Isaiah 56:6-7

It was that same still, small voice Elijah heard—quiet, unmistakable, settling into the ear more like word from the Holy Spirit to my soul. In prayer, I sensed God whisper gently, “Drink water.” And yet, in my own stubbornness, I felt the weight of being confronted by the attitude my own heart.  The truth is God exposed something much deeper than not wanting to drink water.

God was reveling things of eternal importance to Him, to release the bonds of wickedness,to undo the ropes of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke?

The purpose of this voice in times of fasting and prayer is to connect the heart of the believer with God’s direction, receive revelation, and strengthen us spiritually.

What is paramount in this moment?   “I Don’t Want To” is not a flaw.  God showed me personally that I Don’t Want to is a theme that we carry through life.  When we don’t want to we miss God.  In the Lord’s Prayer we pray those very words, “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven”  Matthew 6:9.   It is an expression of our desire for God's reign and rule to be fully realized on earth that God would transform us and that God would bring salvation to the lost but we struggle with “I don’t want to”  Its was not loathing or self-condemning it was a wake up call.  What was the wake-up call?  The Kingdom of God is at hand.

All of a sudden, I felt my resistance “I don’t want to” was not my rebellion, it was God growing this old saint understanding more about Gods conviction. 

Charles Morgan was an English novelist and playwright born in 1894 in London. He was known for his faith in God and his insightful exploration of human nature and the complexities of personal relationships. He understood that “conviction can provoke discomfort, yet it is meant to awaken reflection and prompt repentance”.  

Paul wrote in II Cor 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I was all of a sudden face with a deeper conviction, a wakening on trusting God even when my flesh does want to.  “I don’t want to” was a revelation about II Cor 12:9 His power is perfected in my weakness.